its nice to have some form out outlet that is only mine, Myspace blogs will be read, and that means I will be judged, and thats not really what im wanting.
Cutting a long story short, my relationship of aroud a year is falling apart everywhere I look, and it feels like theres nothing I can do about it. Theres this other girl, and they both like each other. Nothing I can say will chaneg anyones mind, and i suppose its slightly my fault anyway. Im driving him towards her by being everything that I hate.
Do I deserve it? Probably. In reality. However, in my heart and in my brain, it doesnt feel like I am. All ive done is love him. Thats it. Im just really fucking scared about hwo my lifes turning out.
I promised my friend id let her take some pictures of me for my art. Then i remembered the scars. They havent been so muh of a problem really, places where no one can see. But i said yes, and now i dont see a way that i can get out of it unless i tell her about them. Tell her that i dont want my flesh on the sheets becasue its marred with ugly purple lines that i cant remove, and maybe wouldnt remove, even if i wanted to.
what do i do after i leave college? i have no idea. i owe money, a lot of money, to my mum for a car. And...and i dont know.
i really dont.
if someone wants to tell me, id really like to know.